Hear the angels sing

Another angel will watch over me this christmas

Christmas is the time to spend with your loved ones, family, friends and people you hold close in your life. It is also the celebration of remembrance and care. The older you get, the more you appreciate what is close to your heart, and you loose more and more people in your life, that you stop and remember on this time a year.

I have many stars and angels shining bright for me, singing me melodies of remembrance during Christmas, and I hold them so close to my heart. It makes Christmas hard for me listening to them sing, but at the same time it feels good hearing their voice, because then I know I am still connected to them and they are joining me in the celebrations as well. Christmas is the time for peace and love.

What I must remember as well is that I have started a new family too, my daughter is celebrating her second Christmas with us and it is like creating the lost spirit of Christmas all over again and giving her the experience of warmth. care, friendship and love the same way I was given it when I was young. It was never about the presents, it is about gathering the loved ones together, and share that love, and that is our focus with her as well. We get together no matter what.

As some of you know, I lost my mother during Christmas when I was nine, and that’s why I feel it is extra important to give my daughter what we lost as a family after that, and not let that follow her in the future. We must also find that lovely balance about it too, when the questions about grandma is coming around, cause they will come eventually.

Day 42 14th of December 2011

Topic: My Mother

Its been 21 years, since I last saw you
Its been 21 years, since that ambulance came to the rescue
saw it as best to,
crawl into my safe shell for my own rescue
nine years old, I understood
drew myself away from beeing around you
Like my brain was on autopilot to deal with all the issues
now its 21 years, the autopilot is off on this date every year
But I know I have to function for my sorroundings and my peers
for 21 years I have memorized my tears,
And I let them out with the same pride as I´ve done every year
Commemorated you mum, wishing you where still here
So I could show you the type of life your son lives right here
and in some way I think you always been present
cause the past affects the present,  and you are the essence of my pressence
And today its been 21 years, I turn those tears into a smile
with your face inprinted on my Iris
See you on christmas eve, with the brightness
from a candlelight, that lights up the kindness of your heart for eternity

This year has also brought another angel and star to the skies watching over me, the most beautiful angel when he was alive, an still a beautiful angel now, that I will love and remember forever.

Dear Friend

Best friend, Angel white,
Pure feathers on a naked skin.
Soft to touch in mind and spirit,
Cleansed like a baby’s whim
You danced so well with the devil
Evil brushed off like dust
Sparkled the existence of your pure good
It flowed in dear memories of a child kept calm
Told to stay strong for the beautiful ugly
The light that shone through your talent
Kept dark minds aware of the innocence they once bore
And the innocent child that you are had to pay the price for that darkness

No matter how hard it is to loose someone, they are never completely lost if you remember them and love them forever

Happy Holidays, and a merry merry Christmas

MesAyah

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